so sorry  / BillyNOTNice
Your name often struck my curiosity when we talked. I stumbled onto your site. This story really breaks my heart. As a father of only 6 weeks I don't know how one would deal with what you deal with every day. My heart goes out to you and your family. Close

This weekend  / Mommy Eades (Mother)

I often hear most talk about how they can't stand the rain and how they wish it would go away.  I suppose I am on a different measure with rain, I find myself relating to it feeling comforted when it comes.  Hayley will rush to me and say Jenna is crying when it rains.  I don't know where she has heard that but she also comes to me with other little sayings about her sister.  Like all the freckles on her face, she swears they are angel kisses from Jenna.  She makes me so proud.  And honestly I don't provoke anything she says or she does.  I think its just a bigger sister missing her little sister.  After all she does tell me about how her and Jenna were looking at each other the moment we were hit.  It tore me apart to know Jenna was awake but at least the last person she could see is the very person who incorporates her more into our life than anyone else, her sister Hayley.

So when the rain comes, the skies become dark and we sit in the house once again becoming closer as a family (I don't think we could be any tighter!).  We watch movies like Dumb and Dumber (Hayley's favorite) or Forest Gump (again Hayley's favorite) and we snuggle.  So in reality its all my life is...a dark world with the most important people in it surrounding me, my kids, and husband.  However, my kids only see sunshine through their eyes for which I am grateful, so in a sense I see it through them when I feel that my life is full of rain. 

We went to the Ronald McDonald House and served dinner last night.  It turned out awesome and it felt so natural to me.  I mean I had been there at one time and knew somewhat in my heart what struggles they were going through, so it was so important for me to give back.  Steak, chicken wings, salad, bread, cookies...we made sure it was set-up right and good break from the hospital food.  Jenna was with us every step of the way.

As of today, I have 30 days left with Jenna.  Almost 3 years ago, 30 days from this day, I had no idea that I was going to hold my daughter for the last time.  And yet today, the air smells the same outside and brings me back to March 1, 2007.  It's becoming open door/window weather, something we did every year and just the smell from outside or the way the sun shines can remind you of that sort of thing.  I remember having the door open and feeding Jenna on the floor with the bright sunlight and cool weather coming through.  Every time I open the door, that memory pops in my head just because of how the air feels.  And then I think I have 30 more days to go.  31 more days until I hear those words, "Mom Jenna's gone". 

I miss her every day every second.  And my love forever grows for her.  I just wish I could touch her and see her face again. 

Missing you my sweet baby girl.  I love you.

Mommy 

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what an inspiration  / Tammy White (nicholes nurse )

to see what you have created is such an inspiration ! it is wonderful to see how many lives you have touched through this foundation through such a tragic event.. God bless you... You are truly amazing people!!!

i think of you often..

tammy white

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So very sorry!  / Annie
To Jenna's Mommy and Daddy and Family I am soooo very sorry for her loss!!! Her beauty is beyond description! I haven't cried so hard in so long like I am now! I will always think of your lilttle girl and of you!! Much love!!! Close

I love you...Happy 3rd Birthday lovey!  / Mommy Eades (Mom)

Jenna

Happy Birthday sweet baby girl!  Every day every minute I think of you and how I always wish for you back...  I wish for us to be all together safe.

I am empty nothing but a shell walking this dark earth without you...my purpose is nonexistent.  My love for you is.

Forever my daughter forever the light at the end of the tunnel...

I wish you the best birthday in Heaven...I am sure you are eating chocolate frosting with Gabriel Isaac Carey Kaycee Alexis Braeden Destiny McKenna Isaiah Reese and so many more of our little friends on your special day.

I miss you so bad it hurts...I miss you so much that I am nothing until we are together again and I finally see you on your birthday.

I love you

Mommy  

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Thank you  / Tami Brady (Benefitting from Jennabearsfoundtion )

My family and I are staying in a room at the Rondald Mcdonald house in Phoenix that has been sponsored by Jennabears.  What a lovely, beautiful, precious child I have been able to read about in Jenna.  Thank you for sharing her photos and stories with me.  My heart is touched beyond measure at how you have turned your ashes and pain into such beauty.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  My daughter, Savannah, has suffered a severe brain injury from a motor vehicle accident.  Savannah will stay with us and probably rehabilitate back to herself.  I am grateful to God for that!  I will pray for your family, for Jennabears foundation, and for all the families that will pass through Jennabears room.  What a blessing you all our to share you precious girl with us.  Thank you and God Bless you!

 

Love,

Tami Brady - Savannah's Mommy

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Your Mommy and Daddy  / Carol Ann Wallace (family friend )

Sweetheart,

I just want you to know, that you should be so proud of your parents!!! They work so hard for others, and to keep your memory alive. I have never met more devoted people.

Your star shines brightly, little one! May you rest in the arms of the angels until we get to see you in heaven!!!!

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New song...  / Mommy Eades (Jenna's biggest fan )

Jenna,

Everytime I hear this song, I fall to my knees.

This is what I told you while holding you in my arms when you were born...I will always keep you safe.  And this song brings me to the time when I held you last in my arms. 

As I fight for what is right, the waves will crash, rain will pour down, and storms will race in.

I know God hasn't left me.  I can only tell myself at night that I still have my integrity as the mommy of you Jenna and the signs continue to come telling me to never give up.

I can see the day very clear when God takes me...God standing there with you in his arms.  I will run up to you so fast, grab you, hug you so tight while kissing your forehead a million times like I always did and say-

JENNA! I missed you so much.  I missed you so so much baby girl.

and then I will say I am sorry.

It should have been me that day instead of you. 

I love you.

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Missing you every second.  / Mommy Eades (Lovin' her so much )

Dear my sweet baby girl.

I think about the strength I lost occasionally.  Only because reminders bring it out.  But I then remember the strength that I find day in and day out.  That strength is you.

You remind me to be the best mother I can be.  You remind me to help others and forget about my self, pain, and heartbreak.  You remind me that I have the best family in the world.

I fell hard.  And more than often, I fall right back on my knees.  I reach for you.  I always have the spot of hope that you will touch my hand to let me know you are with me. 

I am scared about so many things.  But it always seems like you find your way to me, to remind me to keep going.  Yesterday, I saw that license plate that said 911 GOD.  It was you and God telling me...don't give up.  The phrase...seeing is believing...fits perfect right about now.

You have all the promise in my heart and soul that I will never give up.

It's never about me.  It's all about you, Hayley, and Christopher.  I promise to tell bubbas all about you.  And I know, that they will keep your memory alive forever.  Christopher knows you.  When I say your name, he looks at your pictures.

Hayley said she wants to name her little girl Jenna...isn't that cool?  I absolutely LOVE that name.   She talks about you all the time even at school.  And when she draws pictures at school, she draws a heart and writes your name in it.  She always includes you in her family drawings.  She cries for you too.  She is beginning to understand fully where you are.  I know she is going to be a good girl in school and when she drives because of you.  And deep down, I know you are with her and bubbas everywhere they go. 

And always know this.  You will always have your room in our house.  You will always have a stocking for Christmas.  You will always have a bottle in the kitchen and clothes in your dresser.  You will always have your diapers and wipes.  You will always have a million pictures on our walls.  And you will always be counted...when they ask me, I will always say I have 3 children.  I am so proud that I had you in my life, that we were so close, and that one day, I will get to see those blue eyes again. 

I am so proud that you were my only blue-eyed baby!

Another day closer to seeing you,

Nicole Eades 

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Jason and Jenna  / Carol Ann Wallace (family friend )

My Dearest Jenna,

Tonight, Jason and my brother did the X-mas tree.

It is the first time that Jason did most of it himself.

He played X-mas music and dedicated Alan Jackson's "New Kid In Town" to you.

He continued to put things on the tree, but dedicated each song he sang to you, dear one.

He found your star, which I found out is VENUS, and dedicated the night to you, little Angel.

How lucky I am to have a Down Syndrome son, so loving and dedicated to you!!!!!

He mentions you EVERDAY, and loves your beautiful family.

He was so glad to talk to your Daddy tonight!!!

You will live on precious one, in the hearts of everyone lucky enough to know your family!!!!

You will always be my reason to do what I do, and I am a better person because of you!!!!!

Sleep Sweetly,

Love,

Carol Ann Wallace

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Thank you to our friends afar...  / Mommy Eades (Her Mommy )

I prayed.  You came. 

My family is very tired and very broken. 

You give us hope.  Jenna and Hayley are the only reasons for what I do and who I am. 

I am not malicious.  I am a mother.

Thank you deeply. 

Please help us.  We need you.

 

I love you Jenna.  Everything I do is because I am your mom and I can't just stand back in a dark closet.  I am slowly working my way out.  I love you so darn much.  Jenna...thank you for guiding me and deeply touching the heart of others.  I miss you daughter.  You will always be my daughter and I will forever keep your memory going.  I promise. 

That is who I am and you are all of me.

I love you.  I miss you.  I am so sorry I am still her and you are not.

Life hurts without you.  It will never be the same. 

Mommy

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the star  / Carol Ann Wallace (changed person )

The star I saw last night was the only one I saw, and it was so bright. I think it was Jenna, smiling down on Mommy, Daddy and Haley.

You live on Dear Jenna, as you and your parents affect others and how we now see the world. It is about others. It is our time to ride that star in helping others. Sleep sweetly little one.

 

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Trying to reason and understand...  / Missing My Bestfriend (Mom)

Everyday thoughts pass through my mind...of that day...what I had to see...and how helpless I was.  How you are not here and especially how I cannot fathom that thought...how it just cannot be real.

I see little 2-year olds and think…my gosh…would that be you?  I lost a whole year and a half of you sweetie.

I have the best birthday surprise for you this year.  I have been working hard on it.

I will love you forever and will keep your memory going...forever.

You are missed terribly.

Thinking of you,

Mommy.

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Love isn't even a strong enough word.  / Mommy Eades (Forever Her Mommy )

The words I love you have said so much but not enough Jenna.  My sweet baby girl, how I miss you.  Thank you for being my little girl.  I beg for a sign every day, every night.  I am probably looking too hard, but I would do anything to really know you are here with me.  When I put my arms out to hug you, one day, I hope I can feel your spirit.  I hope you hear me talk to you throughout the night.  I am always hoping that when I walk into your room, I will see your toy move, that everything is just a nightmare.  I hope...well...you will come back...

I am sorry you see me cry Jenna...I just miss you so much.  zi want to see you grow older.  I see little girls that are your age and I want to put pig tails in your hair like that.  I want to give you a juice...and most importantly, I want to hug you so tight when I pick you up from school.  I can't stand that I can't do it...it hurts, it hurts hard.

You are just so cute little girl.  Your brother has your smile!  He reminds me alot of you...but he is much taller, just like a brother should be.  I think he knows you.  I truly believe he met you.  Sometimes, he will be looking at you and smile...like you are sitting right in front of him.

Everything I do for the JENNABEARS Foundation, I do in honor of you and Hayley.  For the two most important girls in my life...I am so sorry you were hurt, I am so sorry that mommy wanted to look for a new home, I am so sorry.  I wish it was me every second.

I promise to be a good person for you Jenna.   Everything I do, I do for you, Hayley, and Baby Chris.  I love you so much...more than you will ever know. 

I love you more than all the fishes in the sea baby girl. 

I can't wait to see you again...I am so empty without you.

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I am terribly sorry  / Lindsey Dann

To Jenna's Mommy:

As a mom of three, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you continue to experience. Your baby Jenna is beautiful and I know by your words how deeply connected you are to her. I will pray for you every morning and every evening when you should be heading home from work. I realize that this doesn't fix anything for you, but I want you to know how your story has touched me. I've never met you or any of your family, but I want you to know I will never forget you or your story. If ever you'd like to talk, feel free to email me.

 

To Jenna:

Wow! What a beautiful baby you are! Oh how I wish for your parents' sake that you wouldn't have left this earth before them. Still, I know that you are with Jesus watching over them. Please ask him to comfort your family little Jenna. God bless you, sweet angel. 

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For Jenna  / Eric (5.0_GT_kid) Powell (friend of her daddy )

Well Jenna I never had the pleasure of meeting you, but your story has been very touching to me. Although we all miss you and were heartbroken to see you taken from us, it does provide a small amount of comfort to know that you are in a place where you will always be happy.

I hope you know that your family is fighting hard to bring you justice, and even though they are hurting, they are doing so much good for those who are less fortunate. I know you are as proud of them as I am.

We will all miss you Jenna, and I pray for you. I also pray for the good Lord to give strength and comfort to your family.

- Eric

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This can't be happening...  / Mommy Eades (Mommy)

Those words ran through my head and ..."show those nurses they are wrong".  I just couldn't believe that you were going to Heaven.  Couldn't believe it.  You will always be my little strong one Jenna.

11:20 am....I held you, and felt you take your last little breath.  I tried to not let my tears fall in your face.  And then I was worried...worried that everyone would forget you.

I was wrong.  Did you see your candles?  So many people care about you gorgeous.  My heart beats your name...it did at the car show we did for you.

I will always wonder...I will always keep falling...I will always struggle because you are not here.  Till the day I see your precious face again baby girl.

I love you more than all the fishes in the sea.  I am so sorry I failed you.

 

Mommy

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ruined forever...  / Nicole Eades (Mommy)

5:08 pm...I will never forget the sound...the images...you.  It has been 1 year.  I HATE THIS.

Justice is right around the corner baby.  Thank you so much for showing us the way.

I am so sorry I couldn't protect you.  I am so sorry.

I don't want this new life anymore Jenna. 

 

I am constantly thinking of you everyday...and I will never stop.  I owe you so much more.

I hate what happened to you, I hate this life, I hate that I have a cross instead of my daughter!  I hate this. 

I love you pretty girl...my bestfriend forever.

Love,

Mommy

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For Jenna  / Yolanda Wagner (Friend)
I was thinking of you like I always do.  I'm sorry your stay here was so short, i'm sorry your family hurts the way they do. We all miss you very much Jenna.  "Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift  for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."  Always thinking of you the Wagner family.    Close

Today, 1 year ago  / Mommy Eades (Mommy)

Hi sweet JenJen,

Remember this day a year ago...I will never forget it.  You were six months and I remember thinking...half way to being 1!  We took you to the park for the first time to swing.  You had been to the park before, but you were too little.  I remember holding you, being on cloud nine.  I remember watching you swing with daddy and thinking how lucky I was.  And then later in the day, I remember putting your hair up in that little orange clip, your hair was so beautiful and long.  And then I remember putting you in your swing.  That is my favorite picture.  I can see your belly, how long your hair is, your arms, hand, and your cute, so cute face!  I sit and stare at that picture, looking into your eyes, wondering if you knew...if you knew that mommy only had 20 days left with you.

I stare at that picture daydreaming what today would be like if you were here.  I try to envision you running around with long pretty hair and a personality that no one else can beat.  I know in my heart, you were going to be the top notch out the family.  I used to tell your daddy that you were going to be the president one day.  I just know it.

But the pictures and my Jenna stops at 6 months, 21 days.  I can't picture you any older than that...my little 6 month old...that is all I can see.  And that is all that matters...you are so important to me.

I am trying to be a good person at heart in this new life of mine.  I am trying.  People continue to walk on us, they steal your teddy bears from your cross, they don't say I'm sorry for hurting you...I can't stand it anymore.

I can't stand living without you.  I just want you back.

Happy 18 months baby...I can only imagine.

I love you more than all the fishes in the sea.  And I miss you more than anything.

Mommy.

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